nerfoverlord1
Junior Member
Hey kid, You want some free candy?
Posts: 115
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Post by nerfoverlord1 on Mar 12, 2011 9:28:09 GMT -5
The thread from the old forum returns! Post your chuck norris jokes here, i have a couple:
Chuck Norris is the only man who can punch a cyclops between the eyes.
Chuck Norris can play Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun...and win.
Chuck Norris Sleeps with a pillow under his gun.
Chuck Norris and Lance Armstrong had a fight to see who had the most testicles. Chuck won by 4.
Hmm.. What else....
Chuck Norris does not use spell check. When he mispells a word, Oxford changes it to the right spelling.
Before little kids go to bed, they check their closet for the boogey man. Before the boogey man goes to bed, he checks his closet for chuck norris.
I might think of more later...
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Post by Darth Vilna on Mar 12, 2011 10:29:27 GMT -5
Chuck Norris does not read. He stares down books till they give him the information he wants.
Chuck Norris know all the digits of pi.
Chuck Norris refers to himself in the fourth person.
If somehow Chuck Norris was to go back in time and fight himself, he'd win. Period.
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Post by Nerf7777 on Mar 12, 2011 18:28:49 GMT -5
Ya know, this was my thread, but it was just "Joke Thread". Fishy...
Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked a horse. We now know the descendants of that horse as giraffes.
There is nothing to fear but fear itself, they say. But even fear itself fears Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris has the best poker face of all time, so go that it helped him win the 2006 World Series of Poker against Lady Gaga, despite the fact that all he had in his hand was a 3 of clubs, a 4 of hearts, a joker, a Magikarp, and a green 7 fromm UNO.
If you spell Chuck Norris in Scrabble, you win. Forever.
The universe actually DOES revolve around the Earth, 'cause Chuck Norris is on it.
The US didn't actually find Saddam Hussein. He heard that our government hired Chuck Norris and he surrendered.
Contrary to popular belief, Chuck Norris actually doesn't move at the speed of light. Light moves at the speed of Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris fires Donald Trump.
Underneath China it says "Made in Chuck Norris"
I once had an idea, and a lightbulb popped up above my head. When Chuck Norris had an idea, the Sun was created.
I would keep telling more Chuck Norris jokes, but Chuck Norris is threatening to roundhouse kick me if I don't stop. His loss.
*promptly gets roundhouse kicked by Chuck Norris*
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Post by Nerfan on Mar 18, 2011 19:52:47 GMT -5
Ugh, I could 1-up that, bu tI'm WAY too lazy. I'll just post two.
Chuck Norris counted to infinity. Twice.
Sticks and stones may break your bones, but a Chuck Norris stare will liquefy your kidneys.
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Post by Nerffan on Mar 18, 2011 23:12:22 GMT -5
Chuck Norris can divide by zero.
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Post by Oh Hai on Mar 19, 2011 15:28:33 GMT -5
NERFFAN, YOU'RE BACK!!!!!!!!
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Post by Nerf7777 on Mar 19, 2011 21:43:04 GMT -5
^NO DIP, SHERLOCK!
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Post by Oh Hai on Mar 20, 2011 3:32:54 GMT -5
Sorry, I saw this before I saw the 'I'm back' topic. My bad.
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Post by Nerffan on Mar 21, 2011 9:16:49 GMT -5
lolz, well, yeah, I'm back on NGF. ;D
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Post by Task Force 777 on Mar 24, 2011 10:49:01 GMT -5
Godzilla is a Japanese rendition of Chuck Norris's first visit to Tokyo. Chuck Norris never wet his bed as a child. The bed wet itself out of fear. Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice. In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Chuck Norris could use to kill you, including the room itself. Chuck Norris can sneeze with his eyes open. Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King....and got one. Count from one to ten, thats how long it would take for Chuck Norris to kill you.....47 times. Chuck Norris got his drivers license at the age of 16. Seconds. Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird. Some magicians can walk on water, but Chuck Norris can swim through land. And I have a lot more.
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Post by captaingimpygay on Apr 9, 2012 10:59:31 GMT -5
I <3 Chuck Norris, I want him in my pants.
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Post by Task Force 777 on May 25, 2012 19:44:07 GMT -5
First off, we don't say stuff like that. It's stupid and immature. Also, you just posted in a thread more than a YEAR old. Please watch the post dates.
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